Our strange message at Broad Lane Vets

Earlier this month we all received a rather different message to our in-boxes at Broad Lane Vets. It was entitled ‘STUMPY’.

To set the scene for those of you who have yet to meet Stumpy here he is (on the left):

Yes I know cute isn’t he! Well that butter wouldn’t melt look might have you fooled, but by previous postings you will know he is a terror! If you leave it lying around he eats it. He spends a lot of his life at the practice, in the office (or ideally wandering around if he can escape!). He has devoured ink cartridges, staff member’s dinners, boxes of paper, handcream to name but a few items… so you’re getting the picture.

The thing you also need to know about Stumpy is why he is called so. He belongs to Elly and Jerome (Elly’s not always so better half – sorry Jerome). His real name is Carling, a rejected Guide Dog. Why? I hear you say. Well he has very short twisted legs – basically he’s a basset-hound, with a labrador’s body. Not tall enough to meet the criteria, and likely to have a few medical problems as he gets older.

Back to that message… Well, read for yourself:

I need your help as one of my hairy family clearly has a problem:

Jerome was left in charge of Stumpy while I was out. 

Below is listed the destruction I come home to...

- 2 x packets of Doritos disappeared from worktop in our kitchen on Saturday. The packets later being found very-neatly opened (minus Dorito contents) in the corner of the lounge, under the dog bed

- 6 (yes six!) slices of leftover pizza disappear from the delivery box (on the kitchen worktop) on Sunday morning - box still in-situ on the worktop, garlic dip container licked clean lying on the floor (with lid mysteriously unaccounted for)

- 300g of fresh-filled pasta (meant to be my dinner on Monday night!) mysteriously disappear from kitchen worktop whilst Jerome allegedly putting the bins out

Now, let’s look at the evidence...

- Stumpy's short legs - likelihood of getting all this food from the worktop?

- So that leaves Jerome...does he have a secret binge-eating/garlic-dip-licking problem, and is using Stumpy as a convenient and very believable excuse?!

Please vote and message me back - who do you think is eating the food - Jerome or Stumpy?!!

Well the practice team were divided here! Some blamed Jerome, who enjoys his food, whilst others knowing Stumpy thought him the culprit. What do you think??? 

If you spoke' Woofish' what would you say?

Ever wondered what your dog would be saying if you spoke ‘woofish’? Well here are a few ideas of what they are likely to be saying. Can you spot them in your dog. Let us know if you have any to add.

1. Continuous, rapid barking of a midrange pitch: “Call the pack! There is a potential problem! Someone is coming into our territory!”

Continuous barking, but a bit slower and pitched lower: “The danger is very close. Get ready to defend yourself!”

2. Barking in rapid strings of three or four with pauses in between, midrange pitch: “I think there may be a problem, or an intruder, near our territory. I think we need to investigate.”

3. Prolonged or incessant barking, with moderate to long intervals between each utterance: “Is there anybody there? I’m lonely and need companionship.” This is most often the response to confinement or being left alone for long periods of time.

4. One or two sharp short barks, mid-range pitch: “Hello there!” - This is a typical greeting bark.

5. Single sharp short bark, lower mid-range pitch: “Stop that!” This is often given by a mother dog when disciplining her puppies but may also indicate annoyance in any dog e.g. when disturbed from sleep or if their hair is pulled during grooming etc.

6. Single sharp short bark, higher mid-range: “What’s this?” This is a startled or surprised sound. If it is repeated two or three times its meaning changes to “Come look at this!” This same type of bark, but not quite as short and sharp, is used to mean “Come here!” Many dogs will use this kind of bark at the door to indicate that they want to go out. Lowering the pitch to a more relaxed mid-range means “Terrific!” or some other similar expletive e.g. “Oh, great!” A dog who loves to jump, will give this single bark of joy when sent over an agility run, or a dog may give this same bark when given their food dish.

7. Single yelp or very short high-pitched bark: “Ouch!” This is in response to a sudden, unexpected pain.

8. Series of yelps: “I’m hurting!”,  “I’m really scared” This is the response to severe fear or pain.

9. Stutter-bark, mid-range pitch: If a dog’s bark were spelled “ruff,” the stutter-bark would be spelled “ar-ruff.” It means “Let’s play!” and is used to initiate play.

10. Rising bark: This is a bit hard to describe, although once you’ve heard it, it is unmistakable. It is usually a series of barks, each of which starts in the middle range but rises sharply in pitch – almost a bark-yelp, though not quite that high. It is a play bark, used during rough-and-tumble games that shows excitement and possibly translates as “This is great fun!”

Yipeee – it’s Tuesday! I love Tuesdays - Richard comes in today and I get my acupuncture. Max here. The old joints are not what they used to be so today I get a helping hand. Richard Webb comes in today. He's a Veterinay Surgeon (and has been at Broad Lane hundreds of years, well... just over 39 years) and has a further qualification making him a qualified Veterinary Acupuncturist - He must be special as he has his own room, and a page on our practice website http://www.broadlanevets.co.uk/AcupunctureClinics

You can use it to treat all sorts of ailments. It works by sticking small needles in certain areas of the body. Richard is sooooooooo clever knowing just where to place these needles. I hate needles but honestly they don't hurt. I actually enjoy him coming in as I get loads of fuss, treats and then a sleep; the acupuncture makes me so relaxed! I go home feeling more comfortable - crazy to think needles can make you hurt less?

We have a video that Richard has made to see what he does. 

Why not have a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRHUVONsfAE